This has been severly overdue but one of the things I believe strongly in is that everything in life happens only at THE RIGHT TIME, not before or not after. So for this post to happen on the night of Sunday the 29th of Nov, the last day of the long THANKSGIVING weekend, I think is at the right time, so here goes.
I have a lot to be thankful for. This wonderful life, a family that will do anything for me, great food and the first real holiday I have taken this year (all play and no work). Life has been busy with the MBA but the last 3 months have been something else. I don't know if my boss was just waiting for me to complete my PMP (which I think is my most significant achievement this year), but that same week I completed the PMP, I was loaded with 6 projects to manage in parallel. Six has grown into 10 as I write this on 29 Nov 09, exactly 80 days from the day I got my PMP.
First, I need to thank god for giving me the commitment to complete my PMP, given my MBA. I was not the first in my company to complete it, but given that I did it having a full time job and a very demanding MBA was something. I do not know how my company considers it, but I consider it my most significant accomplishment. And I could not have done it without GOD! Thanks to my MBA, I have certainly realised how I have additional capacity and I belive that I have even more that I have still not used. So the fact is true that I have planned my work better for my 10 projects and have truly put in a lot of hard work into it. But despite all that effort, things can sometimes go wrong. It has happened to me in the past and those times are vivid in my memory. But this time, touchwood, nothing has gone wrong so far. Things just magically seem to fall in place. Crises appear every now and then but solutions follow sooner than later and people rally around me to help me, support me and resolve issues. I find it hard to explain this any better than this but all I can say is that I am juggling several balls in the air and it is like someone above is controlling them, bringing the right ones back to my hands at the right time.
Like I said, I am working hard, but I am also praying. I am pryaing to God that I will put in every ounce of energy I have got and that he take care of me and boy, is he taking care of me?
I feel God, not just at work, but just in my sheer instincts too. For instance, my belief that everything has a RIGHT TIME also stems from the fact that God seems to be guiding me every minute. It seems like I just know what is the right time to do things and I am also able to expect a certain outcome from my actions, good or bad. Sometimes, I want to do some things and I seek his approval to do it. I feel like it's not the right time or that what I am about to do won't really work and just out of pure adrenaline, I still go ahead and do it (I am human, after all!) and clearly, it does not work. And then I start thinking about why I did what I did, even though I had felt strongly that it would not work. That only reinforces another belief, that whatever is bound ot happen will happen and whatever happens, happens for the good. So though I felt something was not going to work, my intellect does not stop me from doing it and facing the consequence. It is easy to reduce such action to the state of wishful thinking, but it points to the fact that pure intellect does not control everything that happens. There is something external to it and I prefer to call it God.
I can sit here all night tonight and talk about several instances that come to my mind as examples of how God is with me and is guiding me. But I will quote one that is fresh in memory because it happened today. My family and I had gone to Albany, which is a 4 hour drive, assuming one stop, from our home. We were returning today from the holiday. We left there just before noon and the plan was to take a break at Edison, which is the Indian capital of the USA and have lunch at Saravana Bhavan. Thanks to traffic delays on I87, we found ourselves at a state where we had another 40 miles to get there and just 40 minutes to get there before the scheduled close of the restaurant at 3 PM. My wife called the restaurant to see if there was any scope of a delayed closing today (given it was a holiday weekend) but the message at the restaurant was clear that it closed after lunch at 3 PM. I decided to still give it a try and drive into Edison, for I was sure we would get some form of Indian food even it was not to be Saravana Bhavan. I just made my little prayer in my heart to God that I would not race or drive rashly, but if he thought we deserved a meal at SB, so be it. I kept pace with the traffic and at the average of 60 mph, we just got off the highway exactly at 3 pm. My wife was busy calling some other restaurants and trying to find ones that were open beyond the 3 pm mark and she actually found some. I told her that we would drive up to Saravana Bhavan, in case they would take some last minute customers, and if they refused, we would try the other options. Turns out that we did get accepted at Saravana Bhavan and had a hearty meal. We not only enjoyed the meal but also gained the energy for what became a gruelling journey after, with further traffic jams and delays. Several questions can be asked here. Why did SB stay open well after 3 PM. Was it just good business sense that led them to stay open a little longer on a holiday and was it just my common sense to believe that it would be the case? So was I betting on something where the odds were very high? I like to believe not, given that not more than a couple of weeks ago, I eagerly went to Saravana Bhavan in New York city one afternoon, not having eaten anything that day and so waiting to eat their delicious food, only to find them shutters down just a few minutes after 5 PM. I ended up eating a decent meal at Madras Cafe or something, but I believe that was meant to happen and it perhaps happened for the good.
It is 11 PM and time for me to hit the bed because I need to wake up at 4 AM and the next 60 days promise to be extremely demanding, but all I am going to bed tonight with is the BELIEF that I will continue to give it everything I have, and I will still need God to help me through this phase. I will need to excel in my job, I will need to get good grades at school, I will need to spend quality time with my family and if God is with me, I will also get to do something more.
And by God, I mean Shri Sai Baba of Shirdi.
Glory be to Baba. Peace be to All.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Where is God?
The bus pulled out of the Greyhound station at the Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York City. I had never seen a rain quite like that. It wasn't there when I got into the station only ten minutes ago. It was only 6 PM on a Saturday in June, but the darkness was ominous. Soon one darkness was replaced by another as the bus entered the Lincoln Tunnel. I closed my eyes. I was tired from the last 2 days. When I opened my eyes the bus just emerged from the Tunnel and the rain had stopped. The bus slowly pulled out of the bottleneck that immediately followed the tunnel and made the curve to the left. The sight I witnessed was one that will never leave my mind. There it was, the majestic island of Manhattan washed by a rare sunlight, right after the rain. It was not the first time I was seeing it and it lasted only a moment, but it was a moment I soaked myself in and promised never to forget. GOD WAS THERE.
The music in my ears had been on for a while. Several of my favorite songs had pleased my senses and soothed my aches. And then there was this song. In Dinon, Dil Mera Mujhse Hai Keh Raha, Thoo Pyar Saja, Thoo, Jee Le Zara. It seeped into my every nerve and shook my very roots. In the strains of that song and in its subtle nuances I lost myself. GOD WAS THERE.
"Be sure to take the Cave of the Winds adventure. It is one of the most exciting and most powerful experiences you will ever have had", said the attendant on the trolley at the Niagara Falls State Park. Even as I slipped into the yellow raincoat, I could not wait to hit the HURRICANE DECK, but it was not until another almost an hour that I really got there after the long lines, regulated elevator rides and painfully slow tourist lines wanting to get pictures of every inch they walked on the trail. Finally, I was there on the deck. It was a perfect day in every way. The sun was shining hard and the crowds were thin at the Niagara Falls. Standing there on the deck I looked up to see the Bridal Veil falls descend from the heavens, even as the sun bore into my eyes and together, they blinded me completely. GOD WAS THERE.
Glory be to Baba. Peace be to All.
The music in my ears had been on for a while. Several of my favorite songs had pleased my senses and soothed my aches. And then there was this song. In Dinon, Dil Mera Mujhse Hai Keh Raha, Thoo Pyar Saja, Thoo, Jee Le Zara. It seeped into my every nerve and shook my very roots. In the strains of that song and in its subtle nuances I lost myself. GOD WAS THERE.
"Be sure to take the Cave of the Winds adventure. It is one of the most exciting and most powerful experiences you will ever have had", said the attendant on the trolley at the Niagara Falls State Park. Even as I slipped into the yellow raincoat, I could not wait to hit the HURRICANE DECK, but it was not until another almost an hour that I really got there after the long lines, regulated elevator rides and painfully slow tourist lines wanting to get pictures of every inch they walked on the trail. Finally, I was there on the deck. It was a perfect day in every way. The sun was shining hard and the crowds were thin at the Niagara Falls. Standing there on the deck I looked up to see the Bridal Veil falls descend from the heavens, even as the sun bore into my eyes and together, they blinded me completely. GOD WAS THERE.
Glory be to Baba. Peace be to All.
Monday, January 5, 2009
In Bliss I am!
I took a shower at 9 PM today. I woke up at 3 AM and tried to work but fell asleep. I woke up at 7 AM with a cold and after an inhalation session and a pill, I worked continuously from 8 AM until 7 PM. Some day! And I still had miles to go before I sleep...
Dinner came first, light but consummate. A few emails, a few websites and then the long shower.
The warm water felt so good. I closed my eyes and I saw the full form of Lord Muruga as an idol on a Rock! I felt blessed. I stayed in the bath as long as I could. I wiped myself clean and then came out in pair of fresh clothes.
A knock on the bathroom door. I opened it to see my wife waiting to apply Vibuthi on my forehead. She does that every night before we go to sleep. I closed my eyes and thanked God.
I went straight to the Puja. The lights were still on. I knelt and even before I knew Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Smaran Karo poured out of my mouth. I sang without inhibition. My son was somewhere nearby. What magnetic force it was, I do not know, but it drew him close to me and he almost knelt down with me and tried to sing along, even though he did not know the song.
And then almost immediately, I started chanting Om Shirdi Vasaya Vidmahe, Sachitanandaya Dheemahi, Thanno Sai Prajothayathu. My son joined the chanting. In bliss I was indeed. The full form of Sai was in front of my eyes (though they were closed tight). He was blessing me. I asked him for strength because I wanted to work hard.
After a couple of chants, I turned off the lights of the puja and walked away to the living room. We had a visitor for five minutes and then I headed straight to bed.
It is 10.17 PM and I have just finished listening to Theenda Theenda again. I feel so tried but I feel so good. Baba's vision is still in front of me. My heart is feeling something good today. I want to work. I wanted to write.
Now that I have, I want to go and work. I have miles to go before I sleep.
Glory be to Sai. Peace be to all.
Dinner came first, light but consummate. A few emails, a few websites and then the long shower.
The warm water felt so good. I closed my eyes and I saw the full form of Lord Muruga as an idol on a Rock! I felt blessed. I stayed in the bath as long as I could. I wiped myself clean and then came out in pair of fresh clothes.
A knock on the bathroom door. I opened it to see my wife waiting to apply Vibuthi on my forehead. She does that every night before we go to sleep. I closed my eyes and thanked God.
I went straight to the Puja. The lights were still on. I knelt and even before I knew Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Smaran Karo poured out of my mouth. I sang without inhibition. My son was somewhere nearby. What magnetic force it was, I do not know, but it drew him close to me and he almost knelt down with me and tried to sing along, even though he did not know the song.
And then almost immediately, I started chanting Om Shirdi Vasaya Vidmahe, Sachitanandaya Dheemahi, Thanno Sai Prajothayathu. My son joined the chanting. In bliss I was indeed. The full form of Sai was in front of my eyes (though they were closed tight). He was blessing me. I asked him for strength because I wanted to work hard.
After a couple of chants, I turned off the lights of the puja and walked away to the living room. We had a visitor for five minutes and then I headed straight to bed.
It is 10.17 PM and I have just finished listening to Theenda Theenda again. I feel so tried but I feel so good. Baba's vision is still in front of me. My heart is feeling something good today. I want to work. I wanted to write.
Now that I have, I want to go and work. I have miles to go before I sleep.
Glory be to Sai. Peace be to all.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Happy Weekend...
Shame on myself. I never do things on time. But I always blame Baba that I do not get my things on time. I had written in my last blog here that I have been waiting for the decision from Columbia Business School for more than a month and how I was at loggerheads with him for that. It was not just that. My annual performance review at work was conducted on Oct 1, 2008 and I had been receommended for a promotion as General Manager. I wrote my last blog on Dec 3rd. Was I sore? My company had sat on issuing me my promotion for 60 plus days. Why would I not be angry with Baba? "Why is it that things never happen on time for me?", I would ask.
Friday Dec 12, 2008 changed all that. A normal day at work it was and I was chugging along, one conference call after another. At 3 PM, I had a feeling of conquest as most of my work was done and it had actually been a day when work got done. I was just cleaning up to get ready for a big weekend, when it happened. At 3.30 PM, my phone rang. "Unknown Number", flashed on my phone's display. It usually says that when someone is trying to reach me from my company in India through the dedicated telecom links. "Who is it now?", I thought. And I answered the call with a rather stiff, "Lakshmi". "Hi", said the sweet voice from the other end, "this is the Associate Director of Admissions from the Executive MBA program at Columbia." I sat up with a start, but stayed gentleman enough to wish her back and say, "Hi, how are you?". "I am fine, thank you", she said, "how about you?". "I am fine too, thanks for asking", I said.
"I called to let you know that the admissions committee met again today and that you have been admitted:, she said. "Oh yeah, alright!", I was thinking, but it hit me in a moment. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate your call", I said. "You will be receving more information from us next week, but I thought I should let you know that you have been admitted", she said. I wasn't listening any more but my brain sent out an automated response which made my mouth repeat, "Thank you, I really appreciate your call". "You are welcome, and have a great weekend", she said. The call was over and the phone went dead.
My wife was standing right next to me and trying to figure out whom I was speaking to. I don't think she could have guessed much from what I spoke on the call. "I am going to Columbia", I said, and explained to her who had called and what she had said. She was thrilled. She has worked equally hard to see me through this journey and she was rightfully thrilled. The next half hour was spent in the elation that this call had created. What an excellent news to get at 3.30 PM on a Friday!
Only another half hour had gone by and I got the next call. That was my boss and the last thing I wanted was a surprise meeting for the weekend. So I was equally anxious when I picked up that call. "Hey Lakshmi", he said, "I am just calling to let you know that I just approved your promotion offer and our HR head should be sending it to you in the next 30 seconds". "Give me a shout if you have any questions", he added and he was off. I had hardly disconnected the call, when a pop up appeared on the right hand bottom corner of my computer, announcing that an email had arrived. No surprises. There it was, my letter of promotion.
This time, my wife was right there with me, waiting for the email (which we had been waiting for over 60 days). I opened the attachment and started to read it. "Dear Lakshminarayan, We are happy to promote you as Director - Transitions...", it read, and we did not have to read the rest. I am not lying that I did not expect this. I had been told at some point in the process that the right title was Director and that is what I would be promoted as but that only increased the anxiety and the desire to see it on paper. This time my wife blurted out. She could not control her tears of happiness.
The first thing we obviously remembered was Baba and we thanked him profusely for the same. I was reminded of the story where Baba asks someone who is about to retire how much he wanted as pension and then he receives more than what he actually asks for. It was also the second day of Karthikai deepam, so soon my wife had lit candles all over the living and dining areas (where the puja is also located) and we prayed together, thanking Baba for the double blessing. We spent the evening calling family and friends and letting them know the news.
It couldn't have happened at a better time. This was Friday evening. Saturday, Dec 13, was my son's birthday and Sunday, Dec 14, was my wife's. A double birthday weekend and a double treat for the same. Was I elated? Sure I was. Though I spent all of Saturday morning running around doing stuff, I was always thinking about the previous day and how within one hour I had got two phone calls that changed my world upside down.
Realization hit me at 4 PM. My son's birthday party was at 4 and we just reached the venue at 4 only to realise that we had forgot some stuff back home. As I drove back home to get the stuff, I realised how self-consumed I had been. It had been about me. About my promotion and my MBA admission. It was my son's birthday and instead of focusing on him, I was thinking only about myself. I apologized to Baba and told myself I will not spare any effort to make the weekend memorable for my son and wife. I did everything I could to make their moments great and I hope they had a good time.
Well, didn't I start this piece saying, "Shame on me!". Today is the 17th of December, 3 days have passed since the weekend went by and I am only now writing this thank you note to Baba (that I promised I will do instantly).
Thank you Baba, for one of the most memorable weekends I have had in recent times (perhaps after my Mother's Sixtieth Birthday weekend). If I still think that things never happen on time for me, could both these pleasant events have happened at a better time? And if i still don't understand that everything happens for a good reason, shame on me, indeed!
Friday Dec 12, 2008 changed all that. A normal day at work it was and I was chugging along, one conference call after another. At 3 PM, I had a feeling of conquest as most of my work was done and it had actually been a day when work got done. I was just cleaning up to get ready for a big weekend, when it happened. At 3.30 PM, my phone rang. "Unknown Number", flashed on my phone's display. It usually says that when someone is trying to reach me from my company in India through the dedicated telecom links. "Who is it now?", I thought. And I answered the call with a rather stiff, "Lakshmi". "Hi", said the sweet voice from the other end, "this is the Associate Director of Admissions from the Executive MBA program at Columbia." I sat up with a start, but stayed gentleman enough to wish her back and say, "Hi, how are you?". "I am fine, thank you", she said, "how about you?". "I am fine too, thanks for asking", I said.
"I called to let you know that the admissions committee met again today and that you have been admitted:, she said. "Oh yeah, alright!", I was thinking, but it hit me in a moment. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate your call", I said. "You will be receving more information from us next week, but I thought I should let you know that you have been admitted", she said. I wasn't listening any more but my brain sent out an automated response which made my mouth repeat, "Thank you, I really appreciate your call". "You are welcome, and have a great weekend", she said. The call was over and the phone went dead.
My wife was standing right next to me and trying to figure out whom I was speaking to. I don't think she could have guessed much from what I spoke on the call. "I am going to Columbia", I said, and explained to her who had called and what she had said. She was thrilled. She has worked equally hard to see me through this journey and she was rightfully thrilled. The next half hour was spent in the elation that this call had created. What an excellent news to get at 3.30 PM on a Friday!
Only another half hour had gone by and I got the next call. That was my boss and the last thing I wanted was a surprise meeting for the weekend. So I was equally anxious when I picked up that call. "Hey Lakshmi", he said, "I am just calling to let you know that I just approved your promotion offer and our HR head should be sending it to you in the next 30 seconds". "Give me a shout if you have any questions", he added and he was off. I had hardly disconnected the call, when a pop up appeared on the right hand bottom corner of my computer, announcing that an email had arrived. No surprises. There it was, my letter of promotion.
This time, my wife was right there with me, waiting for the email (which we had been waiting for over 60 days). I opened the attachment and started to read it. "Dear Lakshminarayan, We are happy to promote you as Director - Transitions...", it read, and we did not have to read the rest. I am not lying that I did not expect this. I had been told at some point in the process that the right title was Director and that is what I would be promoted as but that only increased the anxiety and the desire to see it on paper. This time my wife blurted out. She could not control her tears of happiness.
The first thing we obviously remembered was Baba and we thanked him profusely for the same. I was reminded of the story where Baba asks someone who is about to retire how much he wanted as pension and then he receives more than what he actually asks for. It was also the second day of Karthikai deepam, so soon my wife had lit candles all over the living and dining areas (where the puja is also located) and we prayed together, thanking Baba for the double blessing. We spent the evening calling family and friends and letting them know the news.
It couldn't have happened at a better time. This was Friday evening. Saturday, Dec 13, was my son's birthday and Sunday, Dec 14, was my wife's. A double birthday weekend and a double treat for the same. Was I elated? Sure I was. Though I spent all of Saturday morning running around doing stuff, I was always thinking about the previous day and how within one hour I had got two phone calls that changed my world upside down.
Realization hit me at 4 PM. My son's birthday party was at 4 and we just reached the venue at 4 only to realise that we had forgot some stuff back home. As I drove back home to get the stuff, I realised how self-consumed I had been. It had been about me. About my promotion and my MBA admission. It was my son's birthday and instead of focusing on him, I was thinking only about myself. I apologized to Baba and told myself I will not spare any effort to make the weekend memorable for my son and wife. I did everything I could to make their moments great and I hope they had a good time.
Well, didn't I start this piece saying, "Shame on me!". Today is the 17th of December, 3 days have passed since the weekend went by and I am only now writing this thank you note to Baba (that I promised I will do instantly).
Thank you Baba, for one of the most memorable weekends I have had in recent times (perhaps after my Mother's Sixtieth Birthday weekend). If I still think that things never happen on time for me, could both these pleasant events have happened at a better time? And if i still don't understand that everything happens for a good reason, shame on me, indeed!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Happy to be alive!
What is it about airplanes? And airports. Everytime I fly, it makes me pull out my laptop, open up a notepad and write. And if i can do it with music in my ears, well that's what I want to be doing all my life.
Right now I am on Continental flight C0212 from Newark to Tampa. It's a 2 hour something flight of which an hour is already over and I have an hour and 13 minutes left of my laptop's battery, so it's going to work out just fine. Bombay Jayashree is rendering Theenda Theenda Paarvai Theenda (from the film Chinna) in my ears. It's the only song I have on my laptop, so it's on repeat mode and I am fine with that because this is the kind of song that can take me high up into an ethereal space and leave me asking for more. (Talk about high up at 30,000 feet above sea level!). She just started out on her second rendition...
There's an interesting story about how this is the only song on my laptop. And it makes me say it here becuase it is a lovely coincidence. My laptop has been reecently suffering from spyware. I contacted my company's helpdesk and after several attempts at remote control vaccination, the only advice they had for me was that someone needed to physically look at it. So much for being a work at home user. I wonder why the technology experts can't fix this simple thing. It's frustrating. Anyways, that having been said, I was thinking of mailing my laptop to our office up in Rochester, NY (I live in New Jersey) and thought I must kill all the music I was carrying on my laptop (not that I had much anyway), lest the technology wizards blame the spyware on the music files and report me to the moral police in the organization that cries hoarse about people carrying personal entertainment material on their company-provided laptops. (Oops! That was a long sentence). I tend to digress often so pardon me. So I decided to delete all the music files on my laptop and I opened up the MyDocuments folder, opened up the MyMusic folder, pressed the Ctrl and A keys together (which in case you did not know, selects all files in the folder) and then pressed the Shift and Delete keys together. Kaboom! All my music files were gone. The biggest Bombay Jayashree fan in the world had just destroyed his biggest passion (only after cricket, but that's not happening much when you are 35 in New Jersey in the winter, so...) And so the music files were all killed. I also repeat myself a lot, if you did not notice it.
I wept! I cried uncontrollably. When I had exhausted all the Kleenex tissues (it's actually Wegman's. I go for low cost options, you see!) I decided to be pragmatic about it and sane. It's just music. "I will make a CD", I told myself. But I really missed the music. Of all the songs I had, there was this one recent acquistion, titled Theenda Theenda Paarvai Theenda from the film Chinna that I missed most. That is the one song I would have done anything to retain. If you want to know how obscure this song is try searching for this song on the internet. Youtube does not have it, Raaga does not have it and forget it, most people haven't even heard of it, forget hearing it. I remembered what my sister told me when I asked her where she got this song from. She said she actually paid 99 cents to download this song from some obscure website. I don't even remember the name of this site now. That's how obscure!!!
So the story goes. Having decided that I was going to ship my laptop to my helpdesk, I decided it would only be wise to organize all my important files so that they could easily back it up. I needed to move everything to one single location so that they could easily make a back-up of that folder, or drive, if you will. So I decided to move on in life and clean up MyDocuments becuase that's where I keep all my working folders and files and all my permanent material lies on the E drive in folders and sub folders. I am kinda organized, you know. It was when I was doing this that I realized that there was a folder called GoogleTalk Received files in MyDocuments. I opened it up to see what was in there and lo! it was there. No suspense here, but there it was. This obscure song that my sister paid 99 cents to get from some obscure site that I don't remember the name of. Was I thrilled? I was thrown into raptures just as I am now hearing the guitar piece in the interlude. Just listen to that guitar piece. It's worth a million dollars. I say 99 cents is dirt cheap. This is the 5th rendition and I am simply loving it.
Now comes the important part. The coincidence that I talked about. I usually get to the point at some point, so rest assured. First, I have to thank the lord Sai Baba of Shirdi whom I believe and worship. Not just because he has given me this moment where I am in a state of ecstasy right now, listening to my favourite music and writing away to glory. I don't know if I said this, but I would be thrilled if someone would pay me to do this. Travel on planes, listen to music and write endlessly. OK I am coming back the point! I am not thankful to Baba just for this experience but because the conicdence by itself is about him and his sacred book, the Satchartira. I usually read one chapter from the Satcharitra everyday. There are some days I miss reading and the last 2 have been such days. So when I got my itinerary yesterday to go from Philadelphia to Tampa and it had a morning flight from Philadelphia to Newark which was one hour, I decided the only thing I would be doing on that flight was reading the 3 chapters I needed to be up to speed. The very first chapter was chapter 41, which is about the gentleman Ali Mohammed, who falls ill and is encouraged by his brother-in-law to get rid of the large picture of saints that he has at his house and believes that it is idolatry and worship of form that is causing him the ill health. Ali Mohammed asks his manager to promptly remove all the photos from his home and drown them in the Arabian sea. He soon gets well and returns home from his brother-in-laws home (where has been convalescing) and finds to his surprise that the large photo of Sai Baba is still on the wall. He is not able to understand how when he had ordered for all the photos to be drowned in the sea, only the photo of Sai is still with him. He is moved by this and his faith in Sai only increases. However, still afraid that his brother-in-law may be mad at him for having the picture at home, he hands over the picture to Hemadpant, the author of the magnificient Satcharitra.
7th or 8th? Truly I have lost count of how many times I have now listened to this song. But I know for sure that I felt the same elation that Ali Mohammed felt when I found this song still on my laptop. And I will go listening to it till my laptop's battery fails or until the flight attendants announce that it is time for descent and time to stop using approved electronic devices.
I wish I could go on writing too. But the only thing I can think of right now is thanking Baba for these simple wonderful moments that he has given me in life. I have been at loggerheads with Baba for several things that have going on in life recently. I am in the midst of a terrible impasse, waiting for a signigicant change in my work portfolio and being wait-listed for admission to an Executive MBA program at Columbia Business School, New York. When the Director of Admissions at Columbia called me for the first time to let me know of the decision to put me on the wait-list, he asked me to keep in touch every ten days. It has been exactly 30 days hence (he called me on November 3rd) and when I called him yesterday, he thanked me for my patience and asked me to wait for one more week. "Oh God! This is killing me", I thought. Columbia is actually the second on my "WAIT" list. Exactly ten years ago, I was wait-listed by IIM-Bangalore and waited one month, hanging from another cliff, only to be told at the end of one month that the wait-list was not being activated. That was certainly the toughest month of my entire life. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on work and the only thing I thought of was IIM-B. I was 25 and was dreaming big. At 35, the "dreaming big" has not gone away, but only this time, I have been hanging from that cliff for a similar month, and now there is an ant crawling up my legs into my pants.
But this time, I have a stronger support. I have Baba. He has guided me through this painful journey. There have been moments when I lashed out in my mind, fighting with him and told him that he is heartless that he has made me go through the grind so thanklessly. But the Satcharitra I read, the daily messages I read from the flip calendar I have from the Sai Temple in Chicago and my wife (who is a bigger Sai Bhakta than I have ever seen anyone to be) have guided me through this phase.
I just got the first blurb that said that my battery is soon to die, but I just hit Alt-F, S and saved my work, so I will go on. And I just realize that though it will be great to have a Columbia EMBA, all I need is flights to everywhere, some music in my ears and a notepad. And I will go on and on and on.
Thank you Baba. Thank you for this moment. And thank you for every single moment I am alive.
BJ just compelted her exth rendition and my laptop will soon crash. But then, I will safely, land, and still be alive...
Glory be to Baba. Peace be to all.
Right now I am on Continental flight C0212 from Newark to Tampa. It's a 2 hour something flight of which an hour is already over and I have an hour and 13 minutes left of my laptop's battery, so it's going to work out just fine. Bombay Jayashree is rendering Theenda Theenda Paarvai Theenda (from the film Chinna) in my ears. It's the only song I have on my laptop, so it's on repeat mode and I am fine with that because this is the kind of song that can take me high up into an ethereal space and leave me asking for more. (Talk about high up at 30,000 feet above sea level!). She just started out on her second rendition...
There's an interesting story about how this is the only song on my laptop. And it makes me say it here becuase it is a lovely coincidence. My laptop has been reecently suffering from spyware. I contacted my company's helpdesk and after several attempts at remote control vaccination, the only advice they had for me was that someone needed to physically look at it. So much for being a work at home user. I wonder why the technology experts can't fix this simple thing. It's frustrating. Anyways, that having been said, I was thinking of mailing my laptop to our office up in Rochester, NY (I live in New Jersey) and thought I must kill all the music I was carrying on my laptop (not that I had much anyway), lest the technology wizards blame the spyware on the music files and report me to the moral police in the organization that cries hoarse about people carrying personal entertainment material on their company-provided laptops. (Oops! That was a long sentence). I tend to digress often so pardon me. So I decided to delete all the music files on my laptop and I opened up the MyDocuments folder, opened up the MyMusic folder, pressed the Ctrl and A keys together (which in case you did not know, selects all files in the folder) and then pressed the Shift and Delete keys together. Kaboom! All my music files were gone. The biggest Bombay Jayashree fan in the world had just destroyed his biggest passion (only after cricket, but that's not happening much when you are 35 in New Jersey in the winter, so...) And so the music files were all killed. I also repeat myself a lot, if you did not notice it.
I wept! I cried uncontrollably. When I had exhausted all the Kleenex tissues (it's actually Wegman's. I go for low cost options, you see!) I decided to be pragmatic about it and sane. It's just music. "I will make a CD", I told myself. But I really missed the music. Of all the songs I had, there was this one recent acquistion, titled Theenda Theenda Paarvai Theenda from the film Chinna that I missed most. That is the one song I would have done anything to retain. If you want to know how obscure this song is try searching for this song on the internet. Youtube does not have it, Raaga does not have it and forget it, most people haven't even heard of it, forget hearing it. I remembered what my sister told me when I asked her where she got this song from. She said she actually paid 99 cents to download this song from some obscure website. I don't even remember the name of this site now. That's how obscure!!!
So the story goes. Having decided that I was going to ship my laptop to my helpdesk, I decided it would only be wise to organize all my important files so that they could easily back it up. I needed to move everything to one single location so that they could easily make a back-up of that folder, or drive, if you will. So I decided to move on in life and clean up MyDocuments becuase that's where I keep all my working folders and files and all my permanent material lies on the E drive in folders and sub folders. I am kinda organized, you know. It was when I was doing this that I realized that there was a folder called GoogleTalk Received files in MyDocuments. I opened it up to see what was in there and lo! it was there. No suspense here, but there it was. This obscure song that my sister paid 99 cents to get from some obscure site that I don't remember the name of. Was I thrilled? I was thrown into raptures just as I am now hearing the guitar piece in the interlude. Just listen to that guitar piece. It's worth a million dollars. I say 99 cents is dirt cheap. This is the 5th rendition and I am simply loving it.
Now comes the important part. The coincidence that I talked about. I usually get to the point at some point, so rest assured. First, I have to thank the lord Sai Baba of Shirdi whom I believe and worship. Not just because he has given me this moment where I am in a state of ecstasy right now, listening to my favourite music and writing away to glory. I don't know if I said this, but I would be thrilled if someone would pay me to do this. Travel on planes, listen to music and write endlessly. OK I am coming back the point! I am not thankful to Baba just for this experience but because the conicdence by itself is about him and his sacred book, the Satchartira. I usually read one chapter from the Satcharitra everyday. There are some days I miss reading and the last 2 have been such days. So when I got my itinerary yesterday to go from Philadelphia to Tampa and it had a morning flight from Philadelphia to Newark which was one hour, I decided the only thing I would be doing on that flight was reading the 3 chapters I needed to be up to speed. The very first chapter was chapter 41, which is about the gentleman Ali Mohammed, who falls ill and is encouraged by his brother-in-law to get rid of the large picture of saints that he has at his house and believes that it is idolatry and worship of form that is causing him the ill health. Ali Mohammed asks his manager to promptly remove all the photos from his home and drown them in the Arabian sea. He soon gets well and returns home from his brother-in-laws home (where has been convalescing) and finds to his surprise that the large photo of Sai Baba is still on the wall. He is not able to understand how when he had ordered for all the photos to be drowned in the sea, only the photo of Sai is still with him. He is moved by this and his faith in Sai only increases. However, still afraid that his brother-in-law may be mad at him for having the picture at home, he hands over the picture to Hemadpant, the author of the magnificient Satcharitra.
7th or 8th? Truly I have lost count of how many times I have now listened to this song. But I know for sure that I felt the same elation that Ali Mohammed felt when I found this song still on my laptop. And I will go listening to it till my laptop's battery fails or until the flight attendants announce that it is time for descent and time to stop using approved electronic devices.
I wish I could go on writing too. But the only thing I can think of right now is thanking Baba for these simple wonderful moments that he has given me in life. I have been at loggerheads with Baba for several things that have going on in life recently. I am in the midst of a terrible impasse, waiting for a signigicant change in my work portfolio and being wait-listed for admission to an Executive MBA program at Columbia Business School, New York. When the Director of Admissions at Columbia called me for the first time to let me know of the decision to put me on the wait-list, he asked me to keep in touch every ten days. It has been exactly 30 days hence (he called me on November 3rd) and when I called him yesterday, he thanked me for my patience and asked me to wait for one more week. "Oh God! This is killing me", I thought. Columbia is actually the second on my "WAIT" list. Exactly ten years ago, I was wait-listed by IIM-Bangalore and waited one month, hanging from another cliff, only to be told at the end of one month that the wait-list was not being activated. That was certainly the toughest month of my entire life. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on work and the only thing I thought of was IIM-B. I was 25 and was dreaming big. At 35, the "dreaming big" has not gone away, but only this time, I have been hanging from that cliff for a similar month, and now there is an ant crawling up my legs into my pants.
But this time, I have a stronger support. I have Baba. He has guided me through this painful journey. There have been moments when I lashed out in my mind, fighting with him and told him that he is heartless that he has made me go through the grind so thanklessly. But the Satcharitra I read, the daily messages I read from the flip calendar I have from the Sai Temple in Chicago and my wife (who is a bigger Sai Bhakta than I have ever seen anyone to be) have guided me through this phase.
I just got the first blurb that said that my battery is soon to die, but I just hit Alt-F, S and saved my work, so I will go on. And I just realize that though it will be great to have a Columbia EMBA, all I need is flights to everywhere, some music in my ears and a notepad. And I will go on and on and on.
Thank you Baba. Thank you for this moment. And thank you for every single moment I am alive.
BJ just compelted her exth rendition and my laptop will soon crash. But then, I will safely, land, and still be alive...
Glory be to Baba. Peace be to all.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
It is Thanksgiving weekend year 2008. I realised I must give my thanks to Sai again on the morning of Thanksgiving.
I woke up with a start on Thursday at 5.45 AM. "Oh my God! It's Thanksgiving day (a day when all of USA closes down to celebrate)! And I don't have any petrol in my car. Will the gas stations be open today?" I was too tired to go and check it out right away so I went back to sleep.
It was Teju's star birthday so I wanted to take him to the temple that morning and we had been invited to dinner at Viji's place in Princeton that evening. And my gas indicator was at "E". When I went out at 8.30 AM to check out the gas stations I found that they were not only open, but the price of gas was at an all time low. $1.65 per gallon read the sign at Sunoco. I pulled up and handed my credit card to the attendant (another luxury we have in South Jersey) and asked him to fill her up. As I saw the tank fill up and the meter run up to $27.75, I felt a sense of happiness and gratitude. Not long ago, the price of gas was $4.00 per galllon and a full tank of gas used to cost almost $60. And that was when Appa and Amma were here in the US and I had to take them all over the North East by road!!!
I looked up at Baba who was perched on my dashboard and thanked him. I thought at that moment that I must write this.
It has been a little over a year since we came to the US. We did not feel the pain of gas prices in the first six months, when it lingered in the $2.67 to $3.00 range. And then when Appa and Amma were here the gas prices went through the roof but I did not mind it much becuase I did not have to send money to India. I had only one family to run.
Now, Appa and Amma are back in India and I have 2 families to feed. That moment I thanked God for 2 things. That the gas price is now at less than $30 a tank that I can save more money here (add to that working from home). And two, conversion is Rs 50 to a dollar so the money I save to send to India gets more mileage too... Isn't that actually 3 things???
I probably have a million things to thank Baba for today. Life has changed upside down. I work days and sleep nights (unlike the last 9 years). I have got more time with Tejas in one year than I got in his first six years. I am thankful Appa and Amma came to the US and I am thankful we got together to celebrate Amma's 60th birthday. I am thankful for this moment that I am able to sit and think nothing but thanking Baba. I can go on and on and I will keep writing till tomorrow morning. I pray to Baba that this moment will last forever.
Glory be to Sai. Peace be to all.
I woke up with a start on Thursday at 5.45 AM. "Oh my God! It's Thanksgiving day (a day when all of USA closes down to celebrate)! And I don't have any petrol in my car. Will the gas stations be open today?" I was too tired to go and check it out right away so I went back to sleep.
It was Teju's star birthday so I wanted to take him to the temple that morning and we had been invited to dinner at Viji's place in Princeton that evening. And my gas indicator was at "E". When I went out at 8.30 AM to check out the gas stations I found that they were not only open, but the price of gas was at an all time low. $1.65 per gallon read the sign at Sunoco. I pulled up and handed my credit card to the attendant (another luxury we have in South Jersey) and asked him to fill her up. As I saw the tank fill up and the meter run up to $27.75, I felt a sense of happiness and gratitude. Not long ago, the price of gas was $4.00 per galllon and a full tank of gas used to cost almost $60. And that was when Appa and Amma were here in the US and I had to take them all over the North East by road!!!
I looked up at Baba who was perched on my dashboard and thanked him. I thought at that moment that I must write this.
It has been a little over a year since we came to the US. We did not feel the pain of gas prices in the first six months, when it lingered in the $2.67 to $3.00 range. And then when Appa and Amma were here the gas prices went through the roof but I did not mind it much becuase I did not have to send money to India. I had only one family to run.
Now, Appa and Amma are back in India and I have 2 families to feed. That moment I thanked God for 2 things. That the gas price is now at less than $30 a tank that I can save more money here (add to that working from home). And two, conversion is Rs 50 to a dollar so the money I save to send to India gets more mileage too... Isn't that actually 3 things???
I probably have a million things to thank Baba for today. Life has changed upside down. I work days and sleep nights (unlike the last 9 years). I have got more time with Tejas in one year than I got in his first six years. I am thankful Appa and Amma came to the US and I am thankful we got together to celebrate Amma's 60th birthday. I am thankful for this moment that I am able to sit and think nothing but thanking Baba. I can go on and on and I will keep writing till tomorrow morning. I pray to Baba that this moment will last forever.
Glory be to Sai. Peace be to all.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Phoenix, Arizona - The Actual July 24, 2008 Post
Today, Baba gave me an indication of how if we call out to him in earnest, he is there for us and will show us the way.
I arrived in Phoenix, Arizona at 1 AM this morning, delayed 5 hours coming in from Philadelphia. After just 3 hours of sleep, I had meetings all day and sometime in the middle of the day, I had to excuse myself from the client meeting I was in to visit the rest room and the reason I visited it was not good. Something I had eaten had played havoc in my stomach and I had a severe diarrhoea. By 3 PM I was totally exhausted. I was lucky to get an hour's worth of sleep before I packed up and left my hotel to get back to the airport for a 1025 PM flight back to Philadelphia, what they call the Red Eye.
I had just returned the rental car at the airport counter of Thrifty and was on the bus that took passengers from the Rental Car Center to the airport terminal. I looked at my watch and it was just 8 PM, enough time for me to get some dinner at the airport. Of course, from the time I had visited the bathroom this afternoon, I had not eaten anything. I was unsure. But now I was hungry. I closed my eyes, thinking what it is that I would have liked to eat at that moment. I was in simply no mood for Burgers or French Fries or Pizzas. That instant, I was reminded of Pongal. How good it would be to have some Venn Pongal and Buttermilk or loose curds. I closed my eyes and prayed to Baba, that if I could have that for dinner, I would consider myself truly blessed.
I got to the terminal in 5 minutes and after checking in and passing security, I walked on towards gate A 13, the designated one for my flight. One the way, I scanned all the eateries and the restaurants. As always, there was Pizza Hut, a Steak house, a Starbucks and a couple of other sandwich places. And there was this one restaurant. I was not sure what I was going to get there, but I went in and sat myself down. The waitress came over and asked me what I wanted and I told her I was a vegetarian and asked her what she had to recommend. Honestly, I was stumped by her response. She asked me what time my flight was leaving? Surprised though I was, I told her I had plenty of time but asked here why she was asking. She immediately suggested that I should probably go to the Mexican restaurant that was located on another aisle which led to a bunch of other gates and which was perhaps a five minute walk from where I was. You could get a cheese quesadila or something she suggested.
I agreed with her and walked out. I walked back to the lobby area, found the aisle she was talking about and used 2 escalators to get to the restaurant she had mentioned. Once there, I noticed that while they had a main dining area, they also had this small take away counter, which was selling stuff at a lower price and also, something on the menu just jumped out at me. "Vegetable Fajita Rice Bowl" it announced and it was only 5$.45. I immediately fell in line and was impatient till I got to the counter. Once i had ordered I was totally restless till I saw my order number being called.
And what did I see? A bowl full of rice, with black beans, peppers, salsa and sour cream. Talk about Venn Pongal - Rice, Lentils, Pepper, Thakkali Chutney and Thairu.
My flight is boarding right now and I need to run, but I even as I let out a burp of happiness as I walked away from that dinner, I had promised myself, I was going to create this page and write this post.
And who else do I have to thank but Baba, not only for the dinner, but also for the perfect timing that allowed me to do this.
Now boarding Zones 5. Zone 6 will be next...
Glory to Sai. Peace be to all.
I arrived in Phoenix, Arizona at 1 AM this morning, delayed 5 hours coming in from Philadelphia. After just 3 hours of sleep, I had meetings all day and sometime in the middle of the day, I had to excuse myself from the client meeting I was in to visit the rest room and the reason I visited it was not good. Something I had eaten had played havoc in my stomach and I had a severe diarrhoea. By 3 PM I was totally exhausted. I was lucky to get an hour's worth of sleep before I packed up and left my hotel to get back to the airport for a 1025 PM flight back to Philadelphia, what they call the Red Eye.
I had just returned the rental car at the airport counter of Thrifty and was on the bus that took passengers from the Rental Car Center to the airport terminal. I looked at my watch and it was just 8 PM, enough time for me to get some dinner at the airport. Of course, from the time I had visited the bathroom this afternoon, I had not eaten anything. I was unsure. But now I was hungry. I closed my eyes, thinking what it is that I would have liked to eat at that moment. I was in simply no mood for Burgers or French Fries or Pizzas. That instant, I was reminded of Pongal. How good it would be to have some Venn Pongal and Buttermilk or loose curds. I closed my eyes and prayed to Baba, that if I could have that for dinner, I would consider myself truly blessed.
I got to the terminal in 5 minutes and after checking in and passing security, I walked on towards gate A 13, the designated one for my flight. One the way, I scanned all the eateries and the restaurants. As always, there was Pizza Hut, a Steak house, a Starbucks and a couple of other sandwich places. And there was this one restaurant. I was not sure what I was going to get there, but I went in and sat myself down. The waitress came over and asked me what I wanted and I told her I was a vegetarian and asked her what she had to recommend. Honestly, I was stumped by her response. She asked me what time my flight was leaving? Surprised though I was, I told her I had plenty of time but asked here why she was asking. She immediately suggested that I should probably go to the Mexican restaurant that was located on another aisle which led to a bunch of other gates and which was perhaps a five minute walk from where I was. You could get a cheese quesadila or something she suggested.
I agreed with her and walked out. I walked back to the lobby area, found the aisle she was talking about and used 2 escalators to get to the restaurant she had mentioned. Once there, I noticed that while they had a main dining area, they also had this small take away counter, which was selling stuff at a lower price and also, something on the menu just jumped out at me. "Vegetable Fajita Rice Bowl" it announced and it was only 5$.45. I immediately fell in line and was impatient till I got to the counter. Once i had ordered I was totally restless till I saw my order number being called.
And what did I see? A bowl full of rice, with black beans, peppers, salsa and sour cream. Talk about Venn Pongal - Rice, Lentils, Pepper, Thakkali Chutney and Thairu.
My flight is boarding right now and I need to run, but I even as I let out a burp of happiness as I walked away from that dinner, I had promised myself, I was going to create this page and write this post.
And who else do I have to thank but Baba, not only for the dinner, but also for the perfect timing that allowed me to do this.
Now boarding Zones 5. Zone 6 will be next...
Glory to Sai. Peace be to all.
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